To Do

Those of you who know me personally know that I have many jobs.  I am first and foremost a health and nutrition coach where I work one-on-one with clients to help them find what foods work best for them, and help build healthy eating and lifestyle habits into their lives.  I am writing nutrition articles for a subscription based website that is going to be launched for the New Year, and am a monthly guest blogger on athleticmommies.com.  I will be starting to work on a nutrition guide and meal plan for a personal trainer.  I also tutor elementary students in math and reading, and nanny for two different families.  Add on to that planning an international trip for my boyfriend and me while he is in Mississippi.  Needless to say, I am pretty much juggling multiple knives while riding a unicycle backwards balancing on a tight rope…or at least this is what it feels like at times.    

There are times when I have all of my “things to do” running around in my brain, like second graders let loose for recess, running around and screaming with no order what so ever.  This is majorly overwhelming for me and I start to get nervous and anxious.  I start freaking out that I have too much to do with not enough time to do it.  I stress myself out and think there is no way I will get everything done. 

So, what do I do to help me through the stress and the mess?  I write a “to do” list.  I take five minutes to sit down and write everything down that I need to do.  Then I prioritize the list and start with the most important thing first.  And guess what happens?  I realize that I don’t really have that much to do, and that my list, when written down, looks totally doable. 

When everything I need to do is swimming around in my head it is chaotic and seems like so much more verses being written down on a sticky note or two.  It’s like your room when nothing is put away, laundry is on the ground, bags are scattered, and the bed isn’t made.  It seems like you have a lot of stuff and your actual living space in your room seems small.  But put away your laundry, organize your bags, and make your bed and your bedroom is streamlined and organized.  Now it seems like you have less stuff and much more space in your room.

By organizing my “to do” list and writing it out, I am able to simplify what I have to do and the task at hand is a lot easier.  And it feels so good to cross off something completed from your “to do” list!

The next time you find yourself disgruntled at the amount of things you have to do, write them down on a list. Prioritize them, and then start crossing them off. 

CrossFit Zen

Okay, it sounds like an oxymoron, I know, but this is the philosophy of my approach to CrossFit I have created for myself.  CrossFit is known to be very intense and intimidating, where beefy specimens throw around ridiculous amounts of weight and are highly competitive with one another.  Well, this may be true for some CrossFit affiliates, and it could possibly be true for the CrossFit box I attend.  However, I have decided to create my own approach to CrossFit.  I love the workouts, the personal attention, and the community that come along with CrossFit.  All I have to do is show up and I see friendly faces and they tell me what to do.  And since I love it so much, I want to be able to participate for as long as I possibly can.  Like all healthy relationships in life: everything in moderation.

I have changed my approach to CrossFit over the years.  I started in January of 2012 with my two good friends, Mary and Anna.  We would have a blast learning the new movements, laughing at our lack of knowledge, and celebrating a 25# PR for our overhead squat!

At the time, I was also running and paddling so I had a lot of other activities that I partook in, and would frequent the box about two times a week.

Flash forward to January 2013 where after cursing my last marathon and telling myself, “I’d rather be crossfitting” for 26 miles, my participation in running faded, and I started attending CrossFit more frequently.  This is when I drank the cool aid, folks.  You’re probably thinking, “I was right!  CrossFit is a cult.”  Not so fast.

I was deep into CrossFit and was sad on my rest days when I didn’t make an appearance at the box.  I was recording lift weights and WOD times and attempting to increase my PRs.  I joined the Barbell Club where we worked on strength and power lifting.  I had a group of people I would train with and compete with.  Along with heavy lifting and constant high-intensity competition came aches and pains, and I started getting pain in my wrists and shoulders.  I was always comparing my workout score or my lift weights to other people.  And after a while, this exciting, encouraging, and enjoyable became a place where I would walk out unhappy and frustrated with myself.  Why was this happening?  I used to love this place.  It would give me so much joy and I would leave in good spirits.

When I took a look, I noticed that I was not following my intentions of why I love CrossFit.  I didn’t join CrossFit to be super competitive or to be an elite athlete.  No, I joined because I enjoyed the workouts, I loved the community, and I got stronger doing it.  A total win-win!  I had gotten caught up in the competition of it all and started comparing myself to other members.  It’s not fun to compare yourself to other people, and in fact, it can be down right miserable. 

So, I took a step back and looked at why I enjoy CrossFit.  I revisited my intentions and the reasons why I joined in the first place.  I love the way I feel when I am done.  I love how strong it has made me, and consequently I feel stronger in general.  I love the unpredictability of the workouts.  You go in not knowing what movements you are going to do that day.  I love the community and encouragement other members give each other.  In my intentions, there was nothing about lifting a certain amount of weight over my head or getting a sub 6-minute Fran time. 

Now, my current approach to CrossFit is what I call Zen CrossFit.  I workout for myself and remember my intentions.  I don’t lift as much weight as I used to, and that’s okay.  Because I’d rather be CrossFitting when I’m 70 with light weights than CrossFitting until I’m 40 with heavy weights and having to stop because of injuries.  I’ll pass on the injuries, please.  Before class I will check in with my body and see what it feels like.  Does it want to do more cardio or more lifting, and I will set my weight accordingly.  I don’t compare myself to anyone!  People’s scores from previous classes are up on the board for people to see, and I just ignore them for the most part.  Sometimes I will reference to see what someone comparable to me did if I am unsure of what weight to use.  But for the most part I just look and see who has been in for the day.  I stay present with the workout and focus on form and technique, concentrating on the specific movement I am doing at the time rather than watching other people and seeing what round they are on, or if I am ahead of them. 

This approach has been working out in my favor!  I am enjoying CrossFit again, I am sans injuries, and I feel positive, energetic and confident when I am done.  My body feels lighter, and I can recover quicker from workouts.

So, when it comes to working out, find a form of exercise that you love to do, stay present, remember your intentions, and don’t compare yourself to others. 

How do you Define Yourself?

I walked into my normal yoga class, Wednesday at 5:15, expecting to see my favorite yoga teacher.  Instead when I stepped in the room there was a stranger in the front of the room where the instructor stands.  In an instant a wall came up inside and resistance set in.  Who is this?  Where is Brigitte?  She won’t be as good as Brigitte, I thought. 

You see, I attend yoga once a week and I have two instructors that I have found I really like.  I love their flow and rhythm as well as the spiritual/meditative aspect they bring to the class.  I enjoy going to their classes knowing what to expect.  So needless to say, I was disappointed and let down when I saw an unfamiliar instructor. 

As class started she introduced herself and shared that Brigitte was sick and called her just prior to cover her class.  She then went on to say “Thank you for letting me teach you today.”  At that moment, the wall of resistance inside of me came down, and I accepted her as the teacher.  It was the simple act of thanking us for letting her be there and allowing her to be a part of the yoga practice that made me realize that she was grateful for being here, and she was asking permission to teach us. 

So we were on with yogaing and in between warrior one and half moon, she stated some wise words that I will not be able to replicate as eloquently as she said them.  But the idea of what she was articulating was to shed the day off, all of the stories that we play in our head, all of things we need to get done, and find the true you.  As what you are looking for is already inside of you, you just need to find it.  “Don’t leave the ocean in search of the ocean.”

Later she asked, “How do you define yourself?”  This question made me stop and think.  People often define themselves by what they do, their friendships or relationships, or their reputation.  You identify with being a mother, a father, a husband or wife, a daughter, a teacher, a nurse, a therapist, or a bitch.  We all do it; we label ourselves and even tie our self worth to what we do and what we have accomplished.  But what happens when we take that all away?  Take away your titles of daughter, teacher, girlfriend, poor, and how would you define yourself?  Take away the stories you create in your head, the ones that connect you to the past and present.  Remove the assumptions you have about yourself and the assumption you think other people have about you, and what would you be now? What is left?

This is a great philosophical question that will take me more than one yoga class to work through.  It is deep, who am I truly?  Am I just cells working together in harmony to create a human body?  Am I a vessel for a soul? Maybe I am ever changing from one moment to another. 

When you strip yourself down, take away the labels and the attachments, how do you define yourself?

Back in the Ocean

Q:  How can you tell if there are sharks in the water? 

A:  Dip your finger in the water, taste it.  If it tastes salty, there are sharks.

As a person who loves the water and spends a lot of time in it, I am aware that there are sharks in the ocean, however, the excitement of the activity I am partaking in at the time usually distracts me from obsessing over the predator.  After all, sharks don’t like humans; they confuse us with seals and turtles, especially when we are on surfboards, or have our feet dangling off a kayak.  That’s why shark attacks are only one bite.  The shark gets a taste and decides he doesn’t like it, or realizes it’s not what he was expecting, and swims away. 

So when there was a shark attack in Lanikai, which is right by where I live, and where I spend a lot of time in the water swimming and surfing, I freaked out! 

Shark attacks are rare on Oahu, and especially in our lovely Kailua bay.  However, there have been an increasing amount of shark attacks, and according to the Hawaii DLNR, in the last three years, the number of shark attacks in Hawaii has tripled compared to the number of attacks 10 to 15 years ago.  2015 has seen 7 reported shark attacks in Hawaii thus far.  Scientist from University of Hawaii say that sharks’ behavior are not changing, and that it is people who are encroaching into shark territory.  Plus, with the increase in tourists the more people in the water, the higher the chance for a shark bite. 

This shark attack hit close to home, since it was practically in my backyard.  Also, a good friend of mine was swimming with the man who was bit, and it got me thinking that it could have been my friend, and how his life could have changed forever in that moment.  

I think that fear has gotten stronger with age for me.  The kind of fear I am talking about has to do with the fear of severely hurting myself or of death.  There are a lot of things that I wouldn’t think twice about doing when I was young, that I find myself wavering and contemplating now, such as jumping off a waterfall into the water.  At 25, no hesitation.  At 35, I have to see someone do it first, and then be persuaded by my boyfriend and his brother.

So, needless to say I have been completely freaked out to get back in the water for fear of being bitten by a shark.  And I LOVE the water!  I surf and I swim in the water and love the refreshing and renewing qualities it gives me.  I can be having a bad or stressful day, and some time in the water helps me calm down and get some perspective. 

I told myself that I would wait until the rain had settled down, and the water cleared up before I got back in.  And now that that has happened, today was the day I was going to get back in the water.  I planned it out carefully.  I went to a popular spot on the beach instead of my usual quiet spot…safety in numbers, plus probability goes down with more people. 

I waded in up to my knees and hung out for a while.  I saw people playing in the waves, and I wanted to join them so badly, so I walked out up to my waist while looking for shark fins between swells.  I didn’t see anything so I continued on.  At this point, I’m hitting the breaking waves, so it’s all or nothing.  I saw a wave coming for me, so I dove underneath it and submerged myself in the ocean.  It felt good to be pushed and pulled by the breaking wave above me.  The coolness of the water against my skin was refreshing after my workout just prior.  It felt right to be back in the water.  I played in the waves for a while, ducking the breaking ones and riding the swells up and down, until the people beside me decided to head in.  At that moment I was alone, the only bait in the water.  It only took me a second to decide to head in!

Did I forget about sharks and the possibility of getting bit while I was out there?  Not for one second!  I thought about sharks the entire time I was in the ocean, but I got back in the water, and man it felt good…baby steps!