Starting From Scratch

To truly start from scratch, you need to let go of all that negative stuff that you are getting away from in the first place.  Though you may physically be away from it, you need to also mentally let it go.  Stop listening to the negative stories you have been telling yourself, and let go of the negative beliefs you have about yourself and lack of ability as a result from the previous situation.  By letting go of all those negative ideas and stories, you are truly starting from scratch and creating room for positive stories to form and cultivate.  I have learned that in starting over it is not just enough to physically move from one place to another, or change locations.  You also need to mentally let go and change your thinking and attitude in order to start over, move forward, and create something new and amazing in your life. 

This subject matter came to mind when I went out for a run the other afternoon for the first time in 5 months.  Now, I have been doing crossfit, surfing, and paddling, however, running is a different story.  I had hurt my ankle earlier this year and have been unable to jog any distance before it starts to hurt.  So, I just haven’t been partaking in this activity.  I have been busy doing other activities that I haven’t really missed it until about a month ago.  There’s just something I get from running that I don’t get from my other activities.  I think it’s the mindless repetition of moving my feet that allows my mind to meditate as well as work through issues or challenges in my life.  Since I started to miss running, I had been THINKING about starting to participate in my old exercise staple again as my ankle has been healing.  I was brought the perfect opportunity on this particular day; I was unable to make it to crossfit, there weren’t any waves and the ocean was pretty choppy, there was no paddling that day, and it was cloudy with a nice cooling breeze.  So I thought to myself, “what a perfect opportunity to actually DO what I have been THINKING about doing for the past month or so”.  I dusted off (literally) my running sneakers and headed out on a 2.5 mile run…nothing too long. 

On my way out on my jaunt around the loop, I realized that I was making a fresh start and that I should have no expectation of my performance what so ever!  I mentally prepared myself knowing that I hadn’t been on a run in a while, and that since this activity is not a strength of mine, I needed to let go of what I used to be able to do and be super stoked with completing a 2.5 mile course, no matter how long it takes.  Though I had completed a couple of marathons, I wasn’t out training for a marathon, nor do I ever have the intention of training for one EVER again.  I needed to let go any thoughts that compared me to the past, or what I used to be able to do.  With this mindset, I was able to just run and be proud that I was out jogging and working hard doing it.  I didn’t get down on myself because I was out of breath, or that I was slugging along. No, I had let that go, and was super stoked that I was running and that my ankle didn’t hurt while I was doing it.

Then I had a realization: making a fresh start and letting things go doesn’t only apply to my running or any other physical activity I participate in.  It in fact applies to EVERYTHING in life!  This realization especially hit home to me regarding my recent career change. 

Though I had quit teaching and started health coaching, and yes, my life has been changed for the better in many ways, I still was holding on to old beliefs that had formed as a result of working for an organization for five years that didn’t respect or value me.  I was still feeling a lack of confidence, I was questioning my validity and credentials, and I was still full of fear and the idea that I wasn’t good enough to be a health coach.  Who’s going to believe me? My voice was never valued or respected in the DOE (department of education), so why would anyone listen to me now?  All of the stories that had built up while working for the DOE and over time were still here with me and they were preventing me from moving forward in my new career! 

So, I started letting go of these limiting beliefs and the negative stories that I had been making up in my head as a result of my past experiences.  By letting these beliefs go, I have made room for positive beliefs and thoughts that serve me.  I see possibilities instead of insecurities, solutions instead of roadblocks.  By letting go of negative self-beliefs, I have been able to move forward with projects that have been sitting on the back burner because fear and doubt would not let me move forward. Also, by letting go of negative stories and self-talk, I am open to receiving complements and positive feedback from clients, friends, and family. (And believing them too!) I am starting from scratch and moving forward with the belief in myself, that my voice is valued, and that what I know IS important to other people (because it IS! Food changed my life, and I know it can change your life too!), and that other people are dying to work with me.  Because they are! 

A physical change in location is only part of starting over.  Letting go of the mental and emotional connection to that time you are getting away from is how to truly start from scratch and make amazing, positive things happen in your life!

Interested in creating the healthiest you?  Contact me at keysa.hale@gmail.com or visit my website:

www.keysahale.com

A Leap of Faith....Learning to Follow My Intuition

So I took a leap of faith…I needed change, and I have been contemplating this change for a while. It has been in the works for about a year now.  And those of you who know me well, know that I need a little push when it comes to doing something drastic and a bit scary.  

Let me explain: Six years ago, I would have considered myself a free spirit.  I had moved to Hawaii the summer I graduated form Oregon State…Go Beavs!  I was in search for sun, minimal commitment, and as little responsibility as possible!  I’m not much for academia, and the five years I spent getting my Bachelors of Art in Photography made me long for days with no responsibility and pretty much no difficult thinking.  I still wasn’t sure what I wanted to do with my life, but I knew I wanted to enjoy it!  Hawaii seemed like the perfect place for this so, I visited a friend of mine from college on Oahu where her and her husband were living.  I of course LOVED it!  What’s not to love about world famous beaches, majestic mountains, and tropical waterfalls…oh, and surfing!  I was hooked!  I was enjoying life, working as a waitress and a nanny to pay the bills, spending my days off at the beach with my girlfriends, hiking, or learning how to surf.  I lived this way for about three years. When I felt the urge to travel internationally! (I didn’t know it at the time, but I was listening to my intuition) I knew that I didn’t have enough money to travel extensively or for a long period of time, which is what I wanted to do.  So, I procured a job teaching English in Thailand.  Why Thailand?  I read the book “The Beach” (highly recommended)  and was instantly drawn to the uncharted lands of Thailand!  It seemed so majestic and mysterious!  I was up for adventure and knew I’d find it there!  I sure was right.  I packed two bags of my personal belongings and sold or donated the rest (which weren’t much…a surfboard and a beach cruiser, and some random dishes).  Oh, and stored some stuff at my parents J (Which I think is still there).  I headed into the unknown, super scared but extremely excited!  Thailand was one of the best learning experiences of my life, and I refer to Thailand as my “first love”.  The culture, the people, the food, the temples…every weekend was another adventure.  I enjoyed teaching the children there, as they were always so positive and grateful.  And though I loved Thailand, I missed being so far away from my family and friends.  I also had this urge to return to Hawaii.  And so that’s what I did.  After a year of working and a little over a month traveling around South East Asia, I hopped on a plane and landed in Seattle on Christmas Eve to spend the holidays with my parents, and stabilize my financial situation before heading back to Hawaii. 

So, this is where things started to change.  I didn’t know it at the time, but I started to ignore my intuition…what I wanted to do and what made me feel happy and joyful and complete.  I started to listen to what society thought I should be doing with my life instead of what I wanted to do with my life.  A lot of my friends were doing adult things like getting married, buying houses, and having babies.  They had “real adult jobs”.  I felt that this is what I needed to do.  And since I didn’t have any marriage prospects, nor money to buy a house, or the desire what so ever to have a child, I looked at my career.  My goal became to have a “real adult job” by the time I was 30.  And of coarse I achieved that, because when I put my mind to something, I get it done! (even if it’s not the right thing for me)  My of my good friends were highly educated and were married to people who had what I called at the time “real adult jobs”.  They were starting families and buying houses.  And though I was completely satisfied with not having a “real adult job” and not having a husband, children, or a house, I felt pressured by what society says I should be doing at age 28.  I also wanted to make enough money to support myself, and knew that I would be a good teacher, as I had done it and enjoyed it in Thailand. 

I would soon find out that teaching in the good ol’ USofA was COMPLETELY different than teaching in Thailand!!!!!!!  In Thailand I was working about four teaching hours a day, with a class size on average of 18 students, plus about 2 hours in the office lesson planning a day.  Compare that to six hours a day of teaching 30+ students, plus four hours a day of planning, grading papers, and attending meetings.  Not to mention the amount of respect I received teaching in Thailand.  Parents LOVED me and were so grateful for me teaching their child to speak, write, and understand English.  There were no demands put on me to teach to specific standards.  There was no pressure for my students to pass a test.  I knew where the students were with their English proficiency and I helped them develop it further through engaging and stimulating lessons and activities.  The owner of the school had complete trust in me that I was doing my job to the best of my ability.  And I feel that having that trust from my boss made me want to perform my best.

Sorry…I could go on forever about the Public School System, but cutting to the point, I had invested time and a lot of money to get my Masters of Education in Teaching, student teaching, as well as teaching for four and a half years in the DOE.  And I WASN’T HAPPY!!!!!

Holly Bleep! (Insert curse word of choice…I think all were said in my head at the time of realization) I have spent tens of thousands of dollars.  Correction: am still paying tens of thousands of dollars on my education that is specific to teaching and I HATE my job!  Well, hate is a strong word.  There are things that I like about my job, like summers “off”, paid sick leave, some of the students, and my grade level teachers.  But not only was I not happy with my job, my health was suffering…my physical and later my mental health.

About a year into my teaching career, I started having digestive issues.  They came on little by little.  Every time I ate something/anything, my stomach would bloat up like I had a baby bump.  Now, at first it wasn’t that bad, but three years later when I feel like I just ate Thanksgiving dinner after anything I ate, even an apple…that’s when you start going a little crazy!  Especially when you go to see your doctor and he tells you to eat more vegetables and exercise more!  Now, let me give you some background info for those of you who have no clue who I am.  I eat paleo style foods, which include a LOT of vegetables and no/minimal processed foods.  I was also paddling outrigger canoe for Kailua Canoe Club as well as training for a marathon.  So, I replied to the doctor, “I don’t think that is possible.”  He had given me a “solution” before he even asked me what I eat and how much I exercise.  I felt my voice wasn’t’ hear by conventional doctors and they assumed a lot of things about me without asking me.  To sum it up, I have tried countless diets including Low FODMAP, Candida, and food elimination.  I have experimented with multiple supplement such as HCL, probiotics, digestive aids, apple cider vinegar, and peppermint.  I have been on multiple antibiotics and have had multiple tests done including, upper endoscopy, CT, ultrasound, and a gastric emptying test.  Not only were all of these time consuming and mentally challenging, they were becoming a financial burden!...Ain’t nobody got time for that!

I was so fed up and at the end of my rope with solving my digestive issues.  Nothing was working, so with the help of some wise friends, I started looking at other areas of my life.  And of course, a huge red flag came up when I looked at my career.  I had to get honest with myself and see that I was NOT happy in my job.  I didn’t feel respected, I was stressed, overworked and underpaid, I felt that I was taken advantage of, and that my voice was not heard. I felt that every year there were more and more expectations put onto my plate with little support.  I realized that my job environment was causing me the digestive issues. 

The big question was: How was I going to leave teaching?  I have invested so much time and money into my career.  I have a steady paycheck and health insurance.  And what the hell else would I do????  I felt like I was stuck in an abusive relationship!  I wanted to get out, but was strangely kept there by the comfort and stability of the job.  So, I did some sole searching and really looked at what I wanted to do with my life verses, just looking for another job.  I stopped listening to the pressures of society and I started listening to my intuition.  I have always been passionate about health and nutrition and have been on my own nutrition and self-image journey myself.  I decided to go back to school and get certified in health coaching.  Through this, I wanted be able to help women who struggle every day with constant dieting, and restricting calories in order to keep what society has told them is an acceptable body weight.  I help them wade through the misinformation and negative influence in the media and guide them to eat for health verses eating to diet and loose weight. 

As summer came to a close, I knew in my gut (literally and figuratively) that I couldn’t return to teaching for another school year, though I only had two health coaching clients…only one who was paying.  I was SO FREAKIN SCARED!!!!!!!!!!  What if I can’t make rent?? What if I can’t buy food???  What if….?????  Craziness was going through my head, but I knew that the most important thing in my life at that moment was my physical and mental health, which was declining.  Without your health you have nothing! 

So I did it!  I turned in my letter of resignation with the support of good friends!  And then the magic happened…the universe aligned and all was right in the world! I felt a weight lift off of me that I had been carrying around for years!  A new mindset came with quitting my job; a way of looking at possibilities instead of looking at roadblocks.  I am happier, healthier, more energetic, more creative, and can now eat normally again!!!!!  I still am able to pay rent and buy food.  I am surrounded by positive, motivating, and caring people in my day to day life, which has been an amazing change from the negative atmosphere of the DOE.  I have received nothing but support from friends and family.  And the people who care to make negative comments on my decision, I just ignore! (I totally have the right to ignore any comment that does not serve me!  It’s my life for goodness sakes, not someone else’s)

I still don’t have a house, a husband, a little person, or a “real adult job”, but I am happier than I have been in a LONG time! (Oh…and I am doing what I LOVE!!!!!!)  I have realized that these things may make some people happy, and that’s really cool, but I am going to listen to my intuition and find and do what makes ME happy!  Taking a leap of faith has been the best decision I have ever made to improve my life and wellbeing.  I don’t regret my decision one bit!